When Our Kids Leave Home

Saying goodbye to my son as we left for the airport was a little bit more difficult than I anticipated.

As mamas, even though we know our kids are exactly where God wants them to be, it’s still not easy to let go and leave them 3,000 miles away.

I’m sure I procrastinated thinking about what the aftermath of him leaving would be.  We have been so preoccupied for the last several weeks just getting him ready to go and enjoying our time as a family.

Packing his bags, shopping for last minute items, throwing going away parties, visiting with friends and family, and fitting in as many memory making opportunities as possible.

For some reason, I thought it would be a great time to actually go through EVERYTHING in his room in hopes to declutter a little as he was packing.

Of course, this became a hunt for treasures as we would come across little things he has saved from when he was just a boy. I’m a sentimentalist at heart so I understand keeping things like ticket stubs and birthday cards from years past.

This time, it was a constant reminder of how fast my little guy has grown up.

My thought was, “Is this really happening?”  “Is he ready for this?”

 

Returning home

Seeing his car sitting in the driveway when I pulled in our home, his bed neatly made, and his pile of leftover laundry on the floor that he didn’t pack only reminds me of how much I’m going to miss his presence in this home in the months ahead.

It will be a bit more quiet around here without his spontaneous concerts at full voice on the piano, his and Jack’s verbal wrestling over whose winning at FIFA, and the more than occasional belting out “I’m soooo hungry!”

I think I can say for the first time, I’m really grateful for that pile of laundry.

Gratitude

As I sat sipping my coffee this morning and writing in my gratitude journal, I’m flooded with the reality of how blessed I have been to have been chosen to raise my children.

Don’t get me wrong, we have had many a struggle that we have had to work through.

However, none of that seems to matter today.

The joy that comes from loving, teaching, disciplining, growing our kids is something that can never be replaced.

A few things to consider when your kids leave the house

There are  so many books and blogs about raising your kids, but very few about how to say goodbye and send them off on their own journey.

This is a whole new season for us mamas. We need a “What to Expect When Your Child Leaves Home” book!

Is there one out there??

In this process, I am finding that there are several things that we can focus on during this transition of “letting go”.

• For one, we need to let go of worrying about something bad happening to our kids. Things happen even when they are living under our own roof so it is not going to be any different out in the world. That is life as we know it.
• It’s time to cut back on giving advice on every decision they make. If we raised them to ponder their choices and to make good ones, we need to pray and trust they will do just fine without us.
• We, as parents, need to give ourselves grace to grieve and then release it by accepting that our kids now have their own life to live and their own destiny to pursue.
• Keep telling yourself “It’s all good.”

Our identity as a parent

Our identity that comes from being a parent is very significant. Few roles that we play in our lives are more important. That is why it is very normal to struggle with a sense of loss and to miss our kids when they leave.

Here’s an article that has some great strategy tips on how to help get past some of the feelings that accompany saying those “goodbyes”. If you need some encouragement, definitely check it out!

Live light,

Lucia