THOUSANDS OF MILES AWAY

It’s so important for our kids to feel intentionally loved whether near or far.

This week we are in California getting our son settled into his new home for the next 8 months.

I’m positive that I have not yet let this whole move sink in.

When I return home to find his bed neatly made and everything off of his bedroom floor, I’m confident the tears will flow.

So many questions race through my mind.

Did we prepare him well enough? Will he be ok? Does he know how much we love him?

Over the years, I often would randomly ask my kids, “Do you know how much we love you? No matter what you do or where you go, we will always love you. We are family forever.” 

10 WAYS TO INTENTIONALLY LOVE

Though this list is just a hint of all the things we can do to intentionally love our kids, these are my top 10 at the moment.

They may seem very simple and easy to do, however, the impact can last a lifetime.

Take photos and videos together

We have a family thread on our phones where we daily send photos, videos, and texts to each other throughout the day. This is such a great way to stay in touch with each other and share our everyday lives even when we may be thousands of miles away or just down the street.

Travel together

One of our family mottos is “A family that travels together stays together!” Traveling has always been important to us as a family. It takes saving and looking for the best deals to make it happen. And it is SO worth it. We have traveled all over this country as well as Africa, Italy, France, China, and even Peru. These memories will never be forgotten.

 

Say their name and randomly tell them you love them

Whether we are on our way to a soccer practice or struggling over a geometry problem, taking the time to say “Jack, I love you so much” makes a difference in our relationship…and I never get tired of hearing, “I love you too, Mom.”

Share meals together 

These days finding time to sit around the table and eat together can be difficult with full schedules. However, it is so important to create a discipline and a priority of sharing meals together. This is a time to put our phones away and just BE together as we talk about our day or week.

Have weekly family meetings

Every Thursday night is set aside for our weekly family meetings. It’s here where we discuss how the week went for everyone. We share what went well and what did not and what’s up for next week. We want our kids to know what the weeks ahead look like for our family and how we can intentionally plan to spend time together. We also want to support them in whatever is on their schedule as well. It’s a time to connect and talk about how they are feeling about things and to plan together. Check out this post to learn more.

Be there to cheer their team on

Ok, I can’t tell you how many times my boys have asked me on game day, “Mom, please don’t scream my name during the game!” However, I neither can count the times they have thanked me for being at their games and supporting them whether it was soccer, football, baseball, etc. I even adopted a few other “sons” on the team that didn’t have parents there to cheer for them. It really does make a difference.

 

Set goals together

Several times a year Mark and I spend time reevaluating our goals and vision for our future. In the past few years, we have realized that it was important to do this with our kids as well. I was amazed how much they actually got into it once we created space specifically for this to happen. It helps them focus on looking ahead and making a plan on how to get to the places they want to go and do the things they want to do.

Say you are sorry

Saying we are sorry to our kids can be humbling, but so necessary. When we say we are sorry to our kids, we are teaching them that adults make mistakes and we, too, are accountable for those mistakes. It teaches them to be honest, humble, and to not hide in shame. It also teaches them HOW to say “I’m sorry” by stopping and looking them in the eyes when we say it. Most importantly, it teaches them forgiveness.

Listen to them

I mean, really listen. Sometimes that means to stop what we are doing and sit with them. Actively listen to them when they talk to you. This helps them feel respected and heard. Listening to my kids over the years talk about the good, the bad, and the ugly has taken our relationship to a whole new level.

Open your home to their friends

Our home has always been the place to GATHER when it comes to our kid’s friends. It doesn’t take a lot of effort to create a welcoming environment. It can be as simple as chips and salsa, drinks, and a few decks of cards or a movie night. It has always meant so much to our kids that we enjoy being with their friends and loving on them as family. 

THE EFFORT IS WORTH IT

Our kids are always learning, growing, desiring to feel important and validated.

Frankly, so are we as adults.

I don’t think we ever grow out of the need to be loved intentionally.

It does take a little bit of effort; sometimes, a lot of effort.

I promise, it will always be worth it in the long run.

If you have any other ideas on intentionally loving your kids, I would love to hear them below in the comments.

Living light,

Lucia